


Weirdest Road Trip Ever

by GothicDeetz



Category: Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Crazy, F/M, Gen, Headcanon, Headcanon Accepted, Multi, One Shot, Randomness, Rituals, Road Trips, Silly, Spells & Enchantments, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:33:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26259472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicDeetz/pseuds/GothicDeetz
Summary: The Maitland-Deetzes go on a road trip. It doesn’t go to plan.
Kudos: 5





	1. Planning

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is based on a headcanon that me and another user on tumblr have: there’s some sort of enchantment/ritual that allows demons and ghosts to leave the house.
> 
> My tumblr is totallycorrect-beetlejuice.

It was just another boring Friday. Lydia had gotten home from school a few hours ago, and she had a long weekend.

Charles had a thought. "We all have a long weekend, so why don't we do a road trip?"

Delia whooped in excitement. "A road trip sounds fun! When is it?" the life coach asked.

"Starting today."

As the living family talked, Lydia noticed the Maitlands, who were sitting on the couch, looking upset. 

"What's wrong?" she asked, going over to the Maitlands and sitting in between them when Barbara moved off to the side to let her sit down.

"Just... kinda sad." Barbara sighed. "The fact that you guys can leave the house... I miss that sort of thing. And I'm gonna miss you guys a lot." 

Betelgeuse had an idea.

"THERE'S A RITUAL IN THE HANDBOOK FOR THAT!" he shouted.

The Maitlands looked at him with differing expressions, Barbara's smile wider and Adam's mouth agape.

"Really?!" they both exclaimed at the same time.

"Yep!"

The Maitlands looked at each other with excitement, standing up and rushing over to hug a surprised Betelgeuse. He hugged them back, his hair turning a bright shade of Yellow.

Lydia smiled, snapping a photo.

"What's the ritual?" Adam asked, curious.

The demon read through it quickly, but it was somehow comprehensible. 

The Maitlands looked at each other, smiled, and said "let's do this."

The Deetzes moved out of the way and watched from a corner as the Maitlands and Betelgeuse formed a circle and held hands. Then Betelgeuse began speaking in a language that only the dead could understand.

Once that was done, Lydia noticed that the two spirits looked a lot more solid, in a way. They'd lost that usual ghostly transparency. She, her dad, and her stepmom made their way over towards them and Lydia reached her arms out, wrapping them around her. This was different from a usual hug, which usually resulted in Lydia falling flat on her face on the floor.

"It's nice to finally get to hug you guys." She smiled.

Delia was already upstairs, packing her bright pink suitcase.


	2. The Trip

Later that day, they were in the car. Charles was driving, Lydia was watching bootlegs on her phone, the Maitlands were reading a book, Delia was knitting, and Betelgeuse was being... Betelgeuse.

He was annoying everyone and had been for the past hour and a half (it ranged from sticking his head out the window and yelling random things at other drivers or pointing out random things to poking and prodding everyone with a multitude of hands and asking where they were going constantly).

"BETELGEUSE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Lydia shouted, pissed.

He stuck his head back in, stuck his tongue out at her and blew a raspberry before going back to sticking his head out of the window and continuing to shout loudly at the other drivers. 

Barbara, who was incredibly done with the demon's shit, yanked him back in by the shoulder, used her powers to close the window, and locked it.

"HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" he demanded as loudly as he could as he turned his attention over towards her.

"I hate to say this, but you need to shut up, or I swear to whoever, we are turning this car around and going back home!" Barbara spoke quickly. She was more pissed off than anyone had ever seen her before.

Charles was a bit impressed, to be honest.

Betelgeuse laughed quietly and stuck his tongue out at the female ghost, blowing a raspberry at her like he did to Lydia earlier. Barbara grit her teeth and growled loudly at him through them, forcing a sheepish Betelgeuse to stick his tongue back in.

Adam had a copy of the Handbook with him (just to be safe), and immediately went to the index, looking for "how to silence and/or paralyze a demon."

He immediately found what he was looking for and flipped to the page.

Quickly, Adam shouted out the incantations, and the demon went completely and still, which was a very unusual sight.

He said something that was muffled and everyone just burst into laughter, angering him and making him make a series of muffled feral animal like noises that just made everyone laugh even louder.

"What was that?" Adam teased. "I couldn't hear you."

More angry feral noises. 

Adam smirked, and Lydia laughed a bit.

"What is that you're try'na say?" Adam teased some more.

Barbara shook her head. "Okay, that's a bit cruel, honey."

"Right, I'll stop," he said.

"Thank you."

Lydia quietly whispered to Adam to reverse what he did to Betelgeuse.

He sighed and flipped through the Handbook to look for an incantation to say to make Betelgeuse not still and silent because the demon was starting to make super loud and annoying feral animal noises and it was starting to drive everyone insane. He found it and read out the incantation.

"Ugh!" Betelgeuse announced in a loud voice, throwing it around the car and making everyone groan in annoyance. "Finally! I was starting to get tired of just making those animal noises."

Lydia glared. "Just because the enchantment is off doesn't mean that you have free reign. I have duct tape, and I'm not afraid to use it if needed."

Smirking, he used his powers to take some of the duct tape Lydia was holding up and used it to cover her mouth. Lydia glared harder at him with clear tears forming on her eyes and started saying things that her parents could only guess were swear words.

Barbara, fuming, quickly took the duct tape off of Lydia's mouth, getting a wince and a thankful nod.

Betelgeuse began to chuckle loudly, earning glares from Lydia and Barbara.

"Betelgeuse! THAT WASN'T FUNNY!!!" both Lydia and Barbara said at the exact same time, causing the demon to sheepishly laugh.

"I thought it was," said the demon once his laughing subsided.

Delia was annoyed as hell.

"If he keeps up with this, I'm gonna stab him with a knitting needle."

Betelgeuse tapped Lydia on the shoulder and she looked in his direction, now noticing he'd taken another piece of duct tape and this time used it to cover his mouth. 

Lydia laughed a little then adopted a serious look on her face."Beej! Stop that right now!"

Adam rolled his eyes at the antics.

Charles was just glad that the demon wasn't shouting expletives at the other drivers.

Betelgeuse decided to be even funnier by getting five pieces of duct tape from Lydia's roll and covered the mouths of everyone else at the same time as removing his.

Delia had just about had it, and lunged at the demon, knitting needle in hand, ready to either throttle or stab him.

Betelgeuse cheekily smirked as he used his powers to encase Delia in a bubble.

Charles growled. "THAT'S IT. WE'RE GOING HOME."

Lydia pouted a bit, glaring at the demon.

He pulled the car into a nearby parking lot, turned out of it, and began on the drive home.

"Betelgeuse, release Delia from that bubble!" ordered Adam, glaring at the demon with a raised eyebrow and narrowed eyes, crossing his arms. When Betelgeuse didn't do much of anything, Adam added a very loud, "Now"!

"Okay, okay. Geez. You, Sexy, are no fun when angry." Betelgeuse snapped his fingers and popped the bubble that had been encasing Delia.

Meanwhile, Lydia was upset, and Barbara was trying, and failing, to calm her down.

Silently, the teen vowed to not talk to her demon "friend" for at LEAST a week, but probably a lot more.

Charles pulled into the driveway and he and Delia turned to the rest of the family.

"Alright, everyone, let's go inside. We've got some serious issues we've got to discuss with a certain someone," said Charles, looking sternly at Betelgeuse.

At that, Betelgeuse became both sheepish and nervous.


	3. Back at Home

They sat him down on the couch and stood across from him, all four adults glaring at him with their arms crossed. Betelgeuse moved his gaze off to the side and noticed that Lydia was turned away from him with her eyes closed and her arms crossed.

"Lydia?" Betelgeuse tried to say.

She didn't do much, remaining standing with her back still turned away from him.

He tried again, only to receive a tearful glare, before the teen turned back around.

He turned to the rest of the adults, hoping they would be willing enough to speak to him unlike Lydia.

After a silent moment, Charles began his angry lecture. "You understand that the way you acted during our road trip was bad, right?"

"Yep!"

Lydia didn't say a word, but the demon could almost FEEL the heat of the teen's anger.

"And you understand why we had to come home so soon?" questioned Barbara.

Another "Yep"!

"Mr. Geuse, I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave and go back to the Netherworld for a while," pointed out Adam, looking at the door Barbara had gone and drawn.

That got him. "No no no no no no no! I am NOT going back there."

That just made all four adults even more angry. 

"Now, mr. Geuse!" ordered Charles.

He still didn't budge, so Barbara turned to Adam and whispered a plan in his ear. Adam nodded and the Maitlands turned back towards Betelgeuse with smirks on their faces. Betelgeuse didn't know what those smirks were for, backing away from the door to the Netherworld and the group of angry adults.

"You know what?" questioned Adam as he and Barbara began to float-walk towards Betelgeuse. "Since you won't go back on your own.... we'll just have to take you there ourselves."

"But what if you guys get stuck there?" Lydia suddenly shouted.

"We'll try to come back to you," said Barbara, stopping, turning, and going over to Lydia, putting a hand on the teen's shoulder. "We promise."

She nodded.

Barbara smiled at Lydia as she andAdam gave her, her dad, and her stepmother hugs. She waved them goodbye as she and Adam grabbed a hold of Betelgeuse's shoulders and led him to the now open door to the Netherworld.


End file.
